My Medley of Praise to God

My heart is overflowing with emotion as I have just finished cleaning my house! Surprised? This week, I found a CD of Spanish music and while I cleaned, I played it. I had to stop and start as my eyes would fill with tears. I reflected back on things in my life as well as looked forward to what may lie ahead. Besides the Spanish music, songs in English went through my mind as well as one song in Thai!!! Let me back up a little. This week, our family took a trip to Hat Yai in southern Thailand. We saw many new things like monkeys jumping in trees for example. Of course, the children loved that!!! For me, seeing the city from the top of a hill was breathtaking! And yet, behind us, was a giant standing Buddha overlooking it. God has placed a huge burden in our lives for the people of Thailand.

Needless to say, when we returned home, the house needed cleaning! We have friends coming to visit for a few days, so I took advantage of Randy having all the children except William at his English class, and cleaned - while singing in three languages! My mother gave me some advice when I first started singing in church. She said, "Don't ever sing something unless you really mean it." I thought about that every time I would sing and I still think about it now. Right before my church took a missions trip to Mexico, I sang the song "Whatever It Takes." I had already surrendered my life to full-time service for God but this song was my way of renewing my promise to God. "For whatever it takes to draw closer to You, Lord, That's what I'll be willing to do ... Take the dearest things to me ... Let the disappointments come ... lonely days ... take my houses and lands, change my dreams and my plans for I'm placing my whole life in Your hands. And if you call me today to a land far away, Lord, I'll go and Your will obey." During that missions trip is when I met Randy! And, as you know, we served God in Mexico and then God changed our land! I know my mother is probably crying her eyes out while reading this, but I want her to know how much her advice meant to me and how much more it made me sing for Christ and not the approval of man.

While singing along with the Spanish CD, God brought things to mind and many emotions flooded my soul. One of the first songs that played said, "What would have come of me if You hadn't touched me? Where would I be today if You hadn't pardoned me? ... If it wasn't for Your grace and love." That hit me like a wall of bricks. That was one of those moments I had to stop and thank God for many things. It is still only by the grace of God that I am where I am, doing what I am doing. I thank the Lord that I grew up in a Christian country with Christian parents and adults to help guide me through life. It if wasn't for the grace of God, I could have been born somewhere else without much of a chance of hearing of His matchless grace. As another song I heard said, "My life depends on You ... like the rain needs clouds, like the river needs the sea ... You're my daily bread, You're the reason for every dream in me." As a teenager, I dreamed of one day visiting the country of Thailand, and not only has God fulfilled my dream but given me more than I ever dreamed of!

A resounding message in many songs was God loves me! Yes, I know this. But I think many times, we need to be reminded of that simple truth. We get so wrapped up in our lives and what we are doing that we forget the simple fact that God truly does love us. "He tells me He loves me when I hear the rain. He tells me He loves me with a sunset. He tells me without words using the waves of the sea. He tells me in the morning with my first breath. He tells me that He loves me and wants to spend time with me ... He tells me He loves me when I see the cross, with His arms outstretched demonstrating how much. He says it with the wounds of his hands and feet. He tells me He loves me over and over again." GOD LOVES ME!!!!!!!!

The second message I kept hearing was that I can see God everywhere if I just open my eyes. Not just in creation and nature, but in the little things. I can see Him in the good and the bad. He is there for me always, faithful and true. I only have to reach out. "I see You in the moments of pain, I see You in the night ... I see You in my dreams. I see Your hand guiding me. You're always there ... I feel Your hand over me. I feel Your love ... I see You in the desert and in affliction, I see You in the valley ... I see You in every step I take, I see You in my plans. I see Your hand guiding me." I can most definitely say that I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for God's leading in my life. How peaceful it is to live in the center of His will! For this reason, I serve Him. He loved me first and I desire to be like Him and serve Him to show my gratefulness for all He has done for me. I don't want to give only part of my life. I want to do His will and not mine although that may seem difficult at times. What I do for Him that is difficult doesn't even come close to the "difficult" He went through for me. One of my daddy's favorite songs is "It's My Desire." As the song says, "It's my desire to live for Jesus. It's my desire to live for Him. Though oft I've failed and brought Him much shame, it's my desire to live for Him." Another song I pondered tonight says, "By His love, I live. Of His love, I sing. With Jesus I will walk. Because He loved me, I will follow Him."

Stay with me! I'm almost done "singing!" An English song that came to mind was "Can The World See Jesus In Me?". This is another desire I have - that the Thai people will see the love of God in our lives and will then be drawn to Christ. God has placed our family here for a reason - to tell them that He loves them! "Are you walking in the footsteps of the One that you call Lord? Are you living each day by His Holy Word? Surrenedered completely, are you His through and through? Can the world see Jesus, see Jesus in you? Can the world see Jesus in you? Can they see His love in the things that you do? Are you living the life, are you faithful, are you true? Can the world see Jesus, see Jesus in you?"

The song I want to leave with you, is the Thai song that I am learning. When I first heard the song, it sounded beautiful. However, I had no idea of the depth of meaning it held. It has been translated into English! Yay!!! I pray that just as I, your desire is to serve God to the best of your ability. No matter what happens, we should continually show the love of Christ. "Let me walk each day in the love of the Lord. Through each night I'll rest in the arms of His love. And each step I take in the path that He leads. Till I know and feel the full depth of His love. Overflowing with warmth in the arms of His love. His joy has no end, you can't hold it in. God loves you! Let my life be a stream of His love. Let the Light of the World shine through me. Tell the story of love throughout all of the world. That's the story of Christ in my life!"

Thank you God for loving me!!!

Perpetually In His Care

Yesterday, my devotional started off like this:

"I AM PERPETULLY WITH YOU, taking care of you. That is the most important fact of your existence. I am not limited by time or space; My Presence with you is a forever-promise. You need not fear the future, for I am already there ... Your future is in My hands; I release it to you day by day, moment by moment. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow." What a reminder to wake up to!!! He is "perpetually" with me! What an uplifting and comforting thought. I admit, I have succumbed to the feelings of "aloneness" and "does anyone even remember I exist outside my family?" Yes, I am a missionary's wife but I am also human. Just because I am a "missionary's wife" does not make me more spiritual although it probably should. My daily life consists of taking care of my husband and children, homeschooling the children, and being the secretary for my missionary husband. Many times I have thought, "Shouldn't I be out sowing the seed and reaping the harvest?" It seems when I go through these selfish times that God reminds me that my mission field for now is in my home. I, along with my husband, am training my children to go out into the world. I have five little lives in which I can have a huge impact. I can't do this alone. I can't have selfish times. I must remember my Creator and Saviour and allow Him to have full control of my life every day. This is difficult for me many times. I have to remind myself every day that God is in control of my life and I am doing what He wants me to do, where He wants me to do it. No, I may not have many of the comforts that I had in the U.S. or in Mexico, but He has given me different things to meet my needs - and some new comforts! I just need to reach out to Him more and allow Him to fulfill my life and my joy. I need to rest in the promise I have that He is PERPETUALLY with me and I need to let go and let Him lead me. My future is revealed to me daily as I follow Him. My goal: strive to PERPETUALLY follow as He PERPETUALLY leads. I can't be distracted by what is to come tomorrow, next month, or next year. Every day that God gives me is a gift in which I should use to honor and glorify Him. How can I do that if I am fretting about the future and feeling sorry for myself? I must spend my energy living in the will of God for my life for that day. God wants us to live each day to it's fullest in His will. Only He knows what tomorrow will bring and only He can prepare me for it.