As I sit here contemplating the events of the past week, tears still come to my eyes. A little girl in our church, 14 year old Roxana, went home to be with her Saviour. This precious little girl had been sick for the majority of her life. I can't remember the name of the disease she had, but her organs stopped growing at different times in her life which also caused many other problems. I remember about a year ago when her mother came to us and told us that the doctors had said her lungs had stopped growing and it was basically a matter of time. She had to have a tracheotomy done several years back and over the past year, she had been on oxygen the majority of the time. This little girl never knew a normal life. She never walked, never talked, never did many things all of us have done, and do, that we take for granted.
I have thought back to when this little girl came into our lives. My father-in-law got into a cab one day and the driver knew he was the pastor of La Fe Baptist Church at that time. This man, Roxana's grandfather, asked if he could take him to pray for her. She was extremely malnourished because of her disease and it was an absolute miracle she was alive. Up until her death, Roxana could communicate in different ways. She used to open her mouth to answer yes, or when she was able to, she would move her arm. By the end of her life, she could only move her eyes up or down to indicate yes or no. She was always able to understand completely what was going on and what she was being asked. After being told the story of Jesus and what He had done for her, in her own way, she accepted Jesus into her heart.
Because of her, her grandparents, parents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and many others came to know Christ as their personal Saviour. We have all prayed many times over that God would spare her life just a little longer. After receiving the news Sunday morning that she was in a coma and the doctors didn't expect her to make it through the night, I knew in my heart that THIS time would be the time God would take her. We went to see her in the hospital and visit with her family. She looked like a little angel, just sleeping. She was so frail. At the time, I had no tears. I knew we would have to let her go to a place where she would be so much better off. A place that she herself had prayed to go. Her favorite song that we sung at church is called "Alla En El Cielo" which translated means "over in Heaven." She would smile when she heard the song. She knew what Heaven meant for her - a new body, a voice, the ability to do so many things. The song says there will be no more crying, no more sadness nor pain. When the redeemed are over in Heaven, we will praise the Saviour.
When I awoke Monday morning, my first thought was of Roxana. We hadn't received a phone call during the night. About 30 minutes after I got up, the phone rang. It was her aunt letting us know that she had gone to Heaven around midnight. I still had no tears. I just sat on my bed thinking. I almost had a feeling of relief for this precious little girl who was no longer suffering. I thought of all the things she must be enjoying for the first time. She had seen the face of the One who had saved her soul!!! I told Lee and Cynthia later in the day about her passing. Lee's first reaction was "She is better off Mommy, because she can walk on her own and her Mommy doesn't have to carry her everywhere." Cynthia said, "Yeah, and she can eat and do all kinds of things." We sat and talked about how wonderful Heaven must be, especially for her. I wish I could have taped the conversation! My children had such a deep understanding of how special Heaven must be for Roxana.
They held a small service at the funeral home Monday in night which Randy preached. We sang different songs including her favorite, "Alla En El Cielo." As I talked to Rosa, Roxana's mother that night, the tears came. She looked so lonely and lost. She didn't know what to do with her hands. Her whole life had focused on Roxana and caring for her and carrying her everywhere she went. She told me, "I have prayed that God would take her because she was suffering so much. I know she is better off but I don't know what to do now." We cried together. And in the sadness, a light opened in my mind of how good God is even in times of great sorrow. Rosa's oldest daughter recently had her second child. Rosa is going to have a need - to feel needed by someone. This new little baby granddaughter is going to be a tremendous blessing. She is going to need lots of love and attention! Rosa also has a son that is a year older than Lee. She is excited about being able to spend more time with him than she has been able to in the past.
The funeral service was held Tuesday morning at our church. As I played different songs on the piano while people were coming in, I couldn't help but let the tears come. As I thought about the words to the songs I played, they were no longer just hymns that we sing. Heaven is becoming more real!!! The peace that I felt was overwhelming. Yes, I am going to miss her. My children are going to miss seeing her. But, I don't feel sadness. I feel joy that she is able to enjoy the blessings of Heaven for all eternity. Even though in her short life she may not have seemed to be doing anything, she was responsible for many people coming to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. She will be remembered by many as a "giant" soulwinner. Pastor Jose Luis preached a message of the joys that Roxana was experiencing and he talked about the one requirement needed to enter Heaven. He ended by asking, "How many of you would like to see Roxana again?" He then told how you could be sure you could see Roxana again and when he gave the invitation, over 30 people raised their hands for salvation!!! Not only in life did Roxana influence many people. Her death was her last great victory on earth, bringing souls to Jesus.
As the service ended at the church, we again sang her favorite song as everyone filed out of the building. I can only imagine how she was received into Heaven. I can only imagine the things she has seen and experienced. The song "I Can Only Imagine" came to my mind. She has seen what my eyes have yet to behold. For now, we don't say goodbye. We say to this little saint of God, we will see you later when it is our turn to cross Jordan and our imaginations become a reality!
Each one of our children is unique in his or her own way. It is amazing how all these children can have the same Daddy and Mommy, and yet be so different! God has blessed each one of our children with different abilities. We are looking forward to how God is going to use each and every one for His own glory.
